3 tips to boost your confidence.

Being confident takes time and practice, because I don’t believe that people are born confident. We all had to make some effort in order to appear more confident among other people. Keep in mind that it’s not only extroverts that can be confident, even if you are an introverted person. You can still build the courage within yourself to be confident when speaking to other people. 

When you start to be more confident, people start to be attracted to you and not only physically but you start to have a magnetism about you. When you feel like you are not a confident person, it becomes really easy for you to fall in a downward spiral of negativity and self-doubt. Nobody wants that, so here are 3 tips that will help boost your confidence with a bonus tip at the end!

Tip Number 1 – Work out.

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Working out not only helps you build muscle and stay healthy but it also helps with boosting your confidence. When you start to love the way to you, you will automatically start to feel more confident. Start off easy, you won’t be the next mr. olympia in a week if you’ve never worked out before. By starting off easy, you can make sure that you don’t injure yourself and that you can stay turned into a routine. Start by lifting light weight and a walk around the block as your cardio, during winter instead of taking a walk try doing some jump rope or kettlebell swings to develop your muscles and cardio at the same time. 

Long-term exercise has been proven to reduce depression and feelings of anxiety while promoting healthy and sustainable feelings of self-confidence. Starting a workout routine is always the hardest but once you get over that hump, you will start to actually want to exercise. Don’t forget that you can’t outrun a bad diet, remember to eat healthy when you start to workout in order to continue that momentum and get closer to your goals.

Tip Number 2 – Learn to truly accept a compliment.

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Have you ever gotten a compliment from someone and you didn’t know how to respond? Do you awkwardly smile, put your hand behind your head and say something like “oh no, I’m not that good.” or maybe do you start to feel embarrassed and have a hard time responding? If you do any of the things I mentioned or something similar, don’t fret because that’s a normal feeling. 

Next time someone gives you a compliment, start by saying “Thank you” and say it sincerely. People can tell when you don’t really mean what you say. By simply replying “Thank you” it makes you seem approachable and easy to talk to. The more you do this, the easier it becomes and sooner or later it will feel very natural for you to respond to a compliment and most likely you will start to feel comfortable giving compliments as well!

Tip Number 3 – Practice your smile.

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Let’s try a scenario, let’s say you are at a party and you get introduced to  two people. The first person you meet has his arms folded in front of him and only gives you a nod as a way of acknowledging you. The second person you meet, greets you with a smile and says “Nice to meet you.” and gives you a friendly handshake. Which person do you want to talk to more, the first one or the second?

The obvious answer is the first one, I’m just kidding, it’s the second person! Why, because a smile tends to put people at ease and makes them approachable. When you smile at a person, and I mean really smile, people get a good vibe from you. They will start to remember you and will want to hang out with you. A genuine smile when you meet a person will make you feel good. There’s something about truly smiling at someone that makes you feel good inside.

Bonus Tip –  Just start being confident.

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Being confident starts with you. Believe in yourself and believe that you can be confident. If you are reading this, then you are already there. You are taking the steps to be more confident and I know that you are on the right track. Confidence will build slowly but in order for that to happen you will need to simply start. Wake up a little earlier than usual and take a walk around the block, start by smiling at people that you meet and when someone gives you a compliment, sincerely thank them and start a small conversation. 

Do this from now on and you’ll be surprised how fast you will start to feel confident. 

Cheers. 

How to motivate yourself

Are you the type of person to always start a new project but you find that you start running out of steam before you can complete it? I know I have this problem and it often leads to so many abandoned projects that I failed to finish. Sometimes we just have so many ideas that we start to lose focus and before you know it your motivation is gone. I started looking for ways to stay motivated and I think I found 5 tips that will help you stay on track to finish your goals.

1 – Ask yourself if it’s really your goal.

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One way to stay motivated is having a goal that you have your heart set in doing. For me my goal is to lose excess fat to be healthier. I was always a big guy growing up and I remembered my family members telling me to lose weight but I never really made it a priority for me. So whenever they would tell me things like that, it would always annoy me and I get angry. It was until I decided to lose weight on my own that I realized that I found a goal. I don’t know why my parents nagging me about losing weight didn’t jumpstart my weight loss goal, but it was more me really taking the time to look at myself in the mirror and not being happy with that I saw. I decided that losing excess fat would make me happy, and created that goal in my mind in that instant. I’m still pursuing weight loss but now I am more confident that I will do it. I’ve already lost quite a bit of weight since my journey and I will continue on this path until I’ve completed my goal. It is really hard to finish something that you are just not invested in, before you decide on a goal, ask yourself if it’s really your goal.

2 – Break down your goals to make it easier.

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Going back to my goal of losing weight, I currently weigh 265 lbs and my end goal to be under 200, I would like to be 190 or 180 lbs, I think that would be perfect for my height. Now that’s about 85 pounds that I would have to lose to be 180, and that is quite a goal. Losing 10 pounds is hard enough, let alone 85. In order for me to stay on the path and not be discouraged, I would have to break down this massive goal to make it easier to accomplish. 

Any task or goal that I want to complete, I always try to break it down into smaller chunks. Not only does it make it seem a lot easier but it also puts me in a state of mind where I feel more comfortable about what lies ahead of me. There’s a saying that says ‘A journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step.’ and I truly believe that. 

3 – Take a break to recuperate.

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Tip number three is to take a break to recuperate every now and then. Sometimes we just get so focused with what we are doing that we sometimes neglect living our life. We become so driven that we are scared to lose that momentum. You have to remember that you cannot let life pass you by, finishing a goal is great and if you keep pushing and pushing and pushing sooner or later you will exhaust yourself and burn out. When you do get to that point, you may be forced to take a break because your body just can’t continue any longer and that might hurt you in the long run. Sometimes, you just have to stop what you are doing, take a few deep breaths so that you can be rested and tackle your challenge with a set of fresh eyes. This may even benefit you because you might catch things that you didn’t see before. No goal is worth neglecting your health and your family.

4 – Visualize your goal.

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Tip number four is visualizing your goal in your mind. I visualize myself losing that weight and that visualization is burned in my psyche. The image of me at my goal weight keeps me motivated and it helps when I start to lose track of what I want. Visualization is a powerful technique, start with getting into a calm state, then you close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Continue taking deep breaths and start to visualize in your mind what you want to achieve. Focus on that image for a good minute or two while continuing to take deep breaths. Tell yourself that this is the goal that you want to achieve and believe in those words. Do this a few types a week and sooner or later you will start to see a change in your persona, you will start to feel more motivated to continue your goal because you promised yourself that you will. Visualization is key.

5 – Keep track of your progression.

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Keep a journal with you or take photos of your progression towards your goal, because keeping track of how you are progressing is a great way to help you stay motivated. By logging in your progression, you can start to see how you are doing. Maybe you may have to change a few things and or maybe you’ve been doing the right things and everything is going as planned. However, you won’t know this unless you are keeping track of your progression. 

Some may choose to document this change publicly and share it with people but it can also be something private. Whatever you decide to do, a progression chart will definitely keep you focused so that you may get to where you want to be.

No one is perfect and we will all make mistakes, but it’s not about the amount of mistakes you make, it’s about staying on the path that you’ve chosen to follow. Hard work does pay off, but you will also need to have a balance in your life so that you don’t drive yourself insane. I will achieve my goal one day and when I do, you will hear it from me.

Cheers.

What to look for in a long term relationship.

Relationships are difficult, and sometimes we feel that it would be much easier to just not be in one. Some may choose a life of being single and not being held down by a relationship and that’s fine, that’s totally normal. For me however, I like being in a relationship, but only if I picked the right partner for me. I’m currently in a long-term relationship and so far everything has been smooth sailing. We do argue from time to time but we tend to end the end with a smile and a hug. We normally don’t go to bed angry at each other and we’ve kept that up for more than 2 years now. 

Just being physically attracted to someone should not be the only reason why you are in a relationship with a person. It should be deeper than that, so I’ve decided to write about the top 5 things to look for in a long term relationship.

1 – How are they with their parents?

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When choosing a long-term partner, you should see how they interact with their parents. For example, do you see them arguing a lot with each other? If you do notice this with the person you are trying to date, be warned that this is a big red flag. If their relationship with their parents is unstable, chances are they will start to have those same feelings towards you down the road. 

In the beginning it may not show up as much, but slowly they start arguing with you for the most benign reasons. Be aware of this and you will not have much of a hard time later on.

2 – How do they treat waiters/ people when you go on a date?

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When going out with a potential partner, pay close attention to how they interact with servers when on a date. Are they polite and friendly or do they belittle them in front of you? If they are jerks with random people then there is a high chance that they will be an asshole to you, probably even worse because you will always be with them. 

Being kind doesn’t take much effort, also please note that there is a difference between being “nice” and being “kind”. The former is more of a facade that they put up for you to get something out of you, the latter is how they truly are inside. Try to spot the difference between a kind person and a nice person. 

3 – Ask yourself if your potential partner is financially stable.

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Do they have bad credit? Do they blow their money on superficial things? Do they leech off you one to many times? These questions may be uncomfortable to ask your potential partner but it is important for you to establish where you stand financially. Dating someone who continually says that they are “broke” when it comes to paying a bill or for food or for gas but can drop hundreds of dollars on new shoes or a brand new cellphone without batting an eyelash can lead you to financial ruin. Run away from them as fast as possible, they will only bring you down and trap you in an endless cycle of debt and credit card payments. Keep your head above the water and stay far away from people who cannot support themselves financially. You are not their savior, keep that in your mind. They put themselves in that situation and it is not your responsibility to get them out of it. Do not fall for their sad stories, tough luck, it’s a difficult world. You have problems too, there is no need for you to burden yourself with their problems as well. 

Be aware of these types of people because most of the time, they are the most charming. Do not fall for it!

4 – Let them know what you are looking for in this relationship.

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Let them know what you want in this relationship early. When going on a first date, probe them with questions that you want to know the answers to. Be subtle about it, don’t just drop saying ‘I want to get married and have kids’ when you barely know the person. Ask them how they feel about getting married one day or having kids one day, if their answer aligns with yours then perhaps they can be a good potential long-term partner.

By not doing this earlier, you run the risk of spending a good amount of your time with someone who doesn’t have the same core beliefs as you do and may potentially end up breaking the relationship down the road. You must know where you stand and what you want in a relationship, it’s okay to be selfish here. We are all looking for someone that can compliment us in our life. If you both don’t see eye to eye in your core beliefs (i.e. marriage, kids, travel, etc.)  then it will be a difficult road for both of you to have a happy relationship, sooner or later the cracks will start to show and before you know it, you may face a break-up or worse getting a divorce. Be smart, let them know what you are looking for in the beginning and decide if that person is worth pursuing.

5 – Forgetting to live your life.

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This is a big one, when you fall in love it is so easy to get swept up in the emotions and try to make your partner happy. You start doing things that they like, going to restaurants that they love, hanging out with their friends that you start to neglect your own life and your own ambitions. You have to remember that a partner should be a compliment to your life and not be the focus of your life. You both must support each other but not be the crutch in each other’s lives. If they decide that one day it’s over between the two of you, you must be able to fight the pain and continue living your life. You cannot break down and say that “they are your world and that you cannot be with anyone else.” that’s not the right way to think of things. 

You have to find things that you love, whether that’s writing or drawing or watching movies, whatever it is. Don’t be stuck in the mentality that being in a relationship is the only way you want to live. It’s okay and perfectly normal to be single and having fun. You don’t need to rush to find another lover just so you can be in a relationship again. You have to be able to live your life, if you want to travel to Italy and spend two weeks there then by all means do it! If your partner doesn’t want you to go because X reason, screw them, it’s your life and you don’t belong to anyone. 

Love yourself first before you can truly love someone else. 

These are just 5 things that I think are pretty important when choosing a long-term partner, your feelings and ideas may be different but I believe that if you follow the 5 reasons that I wrote above, you have a pretty good chance of finding someone that can be perfect for you.

Cheers.