Let’s be honest, breaking up with someone sucks. It’s never a happy feeling, even if both of you break up mutually, there is still a sadness that you feel. Below I will take you on the 5 most common levels that you will go through after a break up.
Level 1 – Denial
I feel that denial is the first thing that we go through when we have a break up, I know I went through it. It just feels unreal, depending on how long you’ve been with your ex, to suddenly stop the daily routines that you had with that person is quite shocking. We first deny that we are breaking up, we tell ourselves that maybe this is just temporary, maybe they just want some time apart, but sooner or later you start to realize that the break up is final. That you will not get back together, that’s when it hurts and that’s when you start going through level 2.
Level 2 – Anger
Anger is an important feeling to feel when going through a break up, you start clearing your mind of the fog that you had. Maybe this is the point where you start to see what other people saw in your ex. This is the “Aha” moment, where you friends will normally say things like “Told you so” or “I never liked him/her, I’m glad you guys broke up, you don’t need him/her”
Anger makes you stronger, and makes you a bit wiser. Maybe next time, you won’t fall for that type of person or you realize that you want to focus on yourself, but after this moment of strength comes a moment of weakness. That is grief, which is the next level after Anger.
Level 3 – Grief
Let it out, let the tears fall. No one will judge you, you are only human. You have feelings just like everybody else. You don’t need to “Man up” or “be a Boss bitch.” It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel sadness because this is your moment to heal yourself. Tears are just like the rain, it can be long or it can be short. It will always be a gloomy day but after the rain stops the sun shines and the flowers grow.
This too shall pass and you won’t be stuck crying forever, even though it feels like you will be. You will say things or places that remind you of your ex but don’t fret, memories can be replaced by better ones and you will get over that person, trust me, it’s not the end for you.
Level 4 – Acceptance
It’s time to accept that you are no longer in a relationship, congrats, you’re single. Be happy, because out there is someone who will love you for who you are. You will find that person, don’t let past relationships ruin future potential partners. You have to be open minded, but if you do see traits that you don’t like of a potential partner, this is the time that you cannot let that slide. Especially if those traits caused your heartaches in the past. You must let them know that you are not cool with that, and if they don’t care about how you feel. That’s okay, there are others who will be a better fit for you.
Be kind, be open and be friendly, sooner or later you will find a person (or persons) that you feel a strong connection to. Life is all about experiences, and once you feel like you’re with a good person, you will know.
Level 5 – Hope
You made it, you’ve gone through the steps after a break up. Hope is the last stop, this is more of a mindset, keep hopeful. Follow your dreams and don’t stop until you make it, because trust me you will find someone who will push you to go as far as you can. Those people are the good ones, they will want you to succeed because they truly love you and they believe in you. That won’t happen if you aren’t hopeful, keep that feeling alive and you will see it in the end.
Breakups are hard but getting over the 5 levels is even harder, once you truly make it out of there, you will feel much better. You will feel like a new person, don’t forget this is a normal part of life, you may go through these levels more than once. Keep your head up high and don’t give up, you will make it out of this, I promise.